Is It Rude? Buffalo, NY Wedding Edition!

Golden hour photos are always a must at Notting Hill Farm. From our gorgeous views, to our lush woods, and picturesque meadows, photo opportunities abound! Photo courtesy of Scottie Be Photo.

Weddings bring out the best — and sometimes the worst — in people. Between sky-high expectations, emotional family dynamics, and financial pressures, it’s no surprise that etiquette lines often get blurred. Whether you're a bride, groom, guest, or member of the wedding party, you’ve probably witnessed or questioned some “is this rude?” moments. Let’s break down some common (and controversial) wedding situations and decide once and for all: Is it rude?

1. Inviting Someone to the Bridal Shower but Not the Wedding

Verdict: Rude (Usually)
If you're inviting someone to a gift-giving event like a bridal shower, they should also be invited to the wedding. Otherwise, it can feel like you’re asking for a present without offering the main event. Exceptions exist for workplace showers or small group gatherings hosted by coworkers, but generally, if someone makes the cut for a shower, they should be on the wedding guest list, too.

Your guests will absolutely love our gorgeous patio with its million-dollar view and beautiful landscaping, the perfect place to enjoy a cocktail! Photo courtesy of Molly Brooke Photography.

2. Not Giving a Plus-One to Single Guests

Verdict: Not Rude (With Exceptions)
Budgets and venue sizes are real concerns, so limiting plus-ones isn’t inherently rude. However, it becomes questionable if only some single guests get plus-ones or if long-term partners are excluded. A good rule: if someone is in a committed relationship (cohabiting, engaged, or married), they should be invited as a pair.

3. Wearing White When You're Not the Bride

Verdict: Rude
Yes, still rude — unless the couple explicitly says otherwise (for example, an all-white dress code). Wearing white can be seen as drawing attention away from the bride. With so many color options out there, it’s best to let the bride have her moment in white.

4. Proposing at Someone Else’s Wedding

Verdict: Very Rude (Unless Pre-Approved)
Hijacking someone’s wedding for your own big moment is a major faux pas — unless the couple gives you enthusiastic approval ahead of time. Weddings are expensive, emotional, and often years in the making. Don’t steal the spotlight. Find your own moment.

Beauty everywhere! No matter where you look, every space on Notting Hill Farm’s property is a stunning backdrop for your Insta-worthy photos! Photo courtesy of Molly Brooke Photography.

5. Not Attending the Wedding After RSVPing “Yes”

Verdict: Rude
Emergencies happen, and those are totally understandable. But if you RSVP "yes" and then simply don’t show up (or cancel last minute for non-urgent reasons), it’s inconsiderate. The couple likely paid for your meal, drink, and possibly a seat rental — that costs money, and your absence doesn’t go unnoticed.

6. Cash-Only Wedding Registries

Verdict: Not Rude
In the past, this might have been seen as tacky, but times have changed. Many couples already live together or don't need traditional household gifts. Cash funds for honeymoons, home down payments, or experiences are practical and appreciated. Just phrase it politely and offer guests alternatives if possible.

7. Bridal Party Members Complaining About Costs

Verdict: Borderline Rude
Being in a wedding party is expensive — outfits, travel, showers, bachelorette parties, gifts. That said, unless the couple is being completely unreasonable (e.g., demanding international travel and couture dresses), it’s usually better to have an honest, private conversation rather than vent to others or complain publicly. Open communication is key.

8. The Couple Not Offering Meals to Vendors

Verdict: Rude
Vendors like photographers, DJs, and coordinators often work 10 -14 hour days without breaks. It’s a kind and professional gesture to provide them with a meal if they’re onsite during dinner. It doesn’t need to be the same meal as guests, but feeding your team shows respect and compassion.

Those special moments are amplified in the grandeur of our luxurious venue space at Notting Hill Farm, like this groom/mother dance. Photo courtesy of Valerie Marie Photography.

9. Getting Upset About Venue Policies as a Guest

Verdict: Rude
Venue rules — whether it's no smoking, a no outside alcohol or no-shot policy, or restrictions on what can or cannot be done on property — aren’t there to ruin anyone’s fun. They’re standard parts of hosting events, are usually in place because of legal, liability, or safety issues, and more importantly, the couple knew about these policies and agreed to them when they booked the venue. As a guest, getting upset or complaining to staff (or worse, to the couple) about these rules is unfair and disruptive. Respecting the space and the boundaries set helps ensure a smooth, enjoyable celebration for everyone — including the newlyweds who just want you to have a good time.

10. Starting a Ceremony Late to Wait for Late Guests

Verdict: Rude to the Guests Who Were On Time
Your punctual guests took time to arrive early, dress nicely, and follow your instructions. Holding up a ceremony to accommodate latecomers punishes those who respected your timeline. Start within 5 - 10 minutes of the scheduled time. The late ones will sneak in — they always do.

Our balcony is the perfect, intimate spot for that first look or last smooch. Photo courtesy of Valerie Marie Photography.

11. Skipping the Ceremony but Attending the Reception

Verdict: Rude (Usually)
Unless the ceremony is private or invitation-only, skipping it and just showing up to party can feel disrespectful. The ceremony is the reason for the celebration! There are exceptions (e.g., religious differences, scheduling conflicts discussed with the couple), but in general, be there for the “I do’s.”

 12. Asking Guests to “Unplug” During the Ceremony

Verdict: Not Rude
Asking for an unplugged ceremony (no phones or photos) has become increasingly common. It allows the photographer to capture clean shots and encourages guests to be present and that phone sounds do not interrupt the ceremony. As long as the request is made politely — through signage or a brief announcement — it’s totally reasonable.

This New Orleans-style wedding at Notting Hill Farm was nothing short of spectacular. Guests grazed, dined, and danced throughout the evening and enjoyed casual lounge areas sprinkled throughout the space. Photo courtesy of Scottie Be Photo.

13. Not Serving a Full Meal at the Reception

Verdict: Depends on the Timing
If your wedding is during mealtime (lunch or dinner hours), guests will expect a meal. Offering just cake and punch at a 6 PM reception? Rude. But if it’s a post-ceremony celebration at 2 PM, heavy appetizers or a grazing table may suffice — just be clear on the invitation so guests can plan accordingly.

14. Guests Bringing Children When the Invitation Says “Adults Only”

Verdict: Rude
If the invitation specifies an adults-only event, that’s the couple’s choice, whether it’s for budgetary or logistical reasons. Bringing your kids anyway — or asking for exceptions — puts the couple in an awkward spot. Respect the invitation and make arrangements accordingly.

Need we say more? Every wedding is special at Notting Hill Farm in Buffalo, NY, but Fall is our favorite.

15. Couples Asking for Help Setting Up or Tearing Down

Verdict: Not Rude (If You Ask Kindly and Ahead of Time)
Many DIY weddings rely on help from friends and family. If you’re honest about needing a hand and people volunteer willingly, there’s nothing wrong with asking. What is rude? Springing it on guests at the last minute or expecting unpaid labor without appreciation.

Weddings are a delicate dance of tradition, emotion, and logistics. While there’s no universal playbook, most etiquette missteps can be avoided with a bit of grace and clear communication. Whether you’re tying the knot or RSVPing “yes,” the golden rule remains: treat others how you’d want to be treated.

Supporting Local

At Notting Hill Farm, we’re committed to raising awareness about the importance of supporting locally owned wedding venues. You can make a difference by writing a Google review, following these venues on social media, and sharing recommendations whenever you can. Your support means the world to us and to small business owners across the country. We’re excited to give a heartfelt shoutout to some of our incredible venue owner colleagues nationwide. If you’re planning your big day, consider choosing a locally owned venue—find some of the best through the Wedding Venue Map. Riverhouse Montana Blog, The Felt Estate Blog, With This Ring Film, The Peak Venue, The Venue at Far Out Farms Contact, The Old Barns at Dry Run Farms Contact, The Bella Rosa Contact, Events by Bliss Barn Contact, Green Clover Farm Contact, The Venue at Murphy Lane Contact